You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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