i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
