she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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