Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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