Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
