What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
