Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
