So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
