After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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