Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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