lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
