is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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