just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
