Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
