i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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