this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
