Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
