his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
