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I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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