38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
