Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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