I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
