I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
