Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
