okay pat passed out under dana's car
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
