I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
