i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
