Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
