tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
