remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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