Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
