I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
