we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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