so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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