i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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