I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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