I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
These tits shall not be calmed
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
