Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
