So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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