he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
