Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
