You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
