Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
