dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
