member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
