Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
