**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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