as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
