before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
