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I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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