so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
