I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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