He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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